Welcome to Festers Place

A long time ago, on a HL2DM server far far away, four random pissheads called Jased10s, Confinix, Baggheed and Johnimus Prime were willing members of a cult called {Nemesis Inflicted Curse}. They whiled away many hours BOOM HEADSHOTing, SLAMing and chucking radiators and toilets at each other with the Gravity Gun.

But, as with all things, HL2DM had it's day and the cult gradually lost its power. Our heroes, with little else to satisfy their deathmatch lust, got utterly wrecked and roamed distant lands, eventually finding themselves lost in the very heart of the vast Cyberspace that contains all living things. Despite this, their will remained strong and they resisted the beautiful but deadly siren like calls of MMORPG, Sims, and that most evil of evils - Internet Pornography, (ok well maybe they didn't resist the pornography).

After the passing of many moons, (and quite a few number 2s), the time came for much rejoicing. A new game known as Team Fortress 2 was released by the Valve Emperor, and a new immaculate place of wonder was found. A place with all talk enabled; A place with infinite choice of gameplay styles; a world of unlimited imagination; A new domain of freedom - the type of freedom previously only to be found in an Amsterdam café or the local swingers club.

This place was… FESTERS PLACE!!!

A shiny headed God Emperor called Fester was the creator, custodian and father of this new fertile land. His bright halo, visible from the shores of Server to Cyberspace, lit the way for a new breed of waster... sorry… gamer. (Mind you, it was only visible if you had a pair of bi-focals or some really good contact lenses. And if it was foggy you couldn't see past your knob to take a piss).

Armed with rediscoverd enthusiasm, a portable toilet, some choice beers and a few pre-rolled smokes for the journey, our intrepid adventurers quickly found a new group of likeminded travellers (who, like them, were either pissed or wrecked most of the time).

Spend enough time in Festers Place and you may hear stories told of these travellers and their adventures. There was InfiDel of HasselhoffIsMyHero; Advent the Iceman; Ruario of Dirty Bastard; [U2OP] Mike of BURNITALLBURNBURNBURN; Bosco of Festerfactor; Supernova The Dirtybackstabber; Toco of America; Tanza of Niftyartskillztheremate; Dharma of UnwantedAttentioncosI'mthe only bird; BBloke the messwithmeandI'llpopacritinyourass; Black Feather the allroundcompletebastard; CockIJoe of pisstakersunited; lazyEagle of givemeakritz, Mug of TheTeacup. Many many more travellers have come since these intrepid layabouts, and their stories will unfold with the passing of time.

Thus, with this unruly band of wasters, the Team Fortress 2 years at Festers triumphantly began, (not triumphantly sorry, that’s just Bosco singing again - someone get the votemute going ffs).

To marry the Server with it’s occupants a forum was created. A safe and warm place of rest, where Bollocks could be talked freely. A haven where new travellers could make themselves known and Stories and Screenshots of the monumental Server battles could be left. Oh the sweet sweet forum, with its witty banter and ridiculous avatars. Times were good and all who came bathed in the glory of Festers Place.

But with every silver lined cloud, there is a dark force ready to ensnare and trap unheedy gamers. As word of the new land was spread and as more and more travellers came to play, evil lag spike storms began to plague Festers Place. They threatened to shake the Server from it’s very foundations and worse yet, ruin the hallowed Friday Night Mashup.

Something had to be done.

Sacrifices were made to the God Emperor Fester and his newly inducted demi-gods InfiDel and Jased10s. The finest tins of Stella were collected from mysterious breweries in lands across the sea; There were Smoking materials grown tenderly in the warm waters of ‘Hydroponics’ and personally blessed by the High Bud Priests of ‘The Gardening Project in the Loft’; Cool Links from the furthest reaches of the internet, and Quality swearing from the mouths of… well… every fucker who could be arsed to complain about it really.

The Gods were pleased with the sacrifices. The gamers pleas were heeded.

So now show your appreciation; Proclaim yourself converted. Get online and mash it up with the rest of us Detritus –

Join with us at the All New FESTERS PLACE! LONG LIVE THE MASHUP!!!

Written by Johnimus Prime

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