Jokes, Puns and Amusing Stories

[Toco]

God created Canada

On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."

[baggheed]

after a serious fire and accusations of murder in an english country home the police released the 3 bodies of the victims when they were cold
well you wouldnt want a warm fosters would ya??

[baggheed]

oops

[Toco]

hows that last 1 funny there baggie?

[Johnimus Prime]

hows that last 1 funny there baggie?

"have" some kids' - think about it

[Toco]

ive never heard of the guy b4 im assuming thats why im missin this

[MountieXXL]

"Give it here!"

"NO. It's MINE!"

"I said, let me have it!"

"NO! It's MY turn!"

"C'mon! Give it to me!"

"NO WAY!"

(Siamese twins jacking off)

[dintbo(aka bosco)]

ive never heard of the guy b4 im assuming thats why im missin this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Glitter

In 1999, Glitter was convicted of downloading four thousand images of child pornography in the UK, and was afterwards listed as a sex offender.[4] His reputation was greatly tarnished, and, though he continued releasing new music, Glitter's popularity declined sharply. He was permanently evicted from Cambodia in 2002 for suspected child sexual abuse offences.[5] He afterwards relocated to Vung Tau in Vietnam, and in March 2005 applied for permanent resident status.[6] Later that year, he was arrested by Vietnamese authorities while trying to leave the country, and was tried and convicted of child sexual abuse charges in 2005-06. On appeal in 2007 his three-year sentence was reduced by three months. He was released from prison on August 19, 2008 and returned to London three days later, having been refused entry to other Asian countries.

[Toco]

i see now said the blind man, its as clear as mud

[baggheed]

bosco now you just gone and made me feel baaaaaaaaaaaaad!!