Why colds suck
Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:23 am
First up, no matter how much Jase or someone else may say, I do not have swine flu. Back to colds; It seems as though you can catch these bastards wherever you go, Canada, England, Scotland, Germany, Denmark, I've even caught one in Corfu! Tell me how the fuck that happens!
Anyways anyone who's ever had one in their lives will know that sometimes it starts with your throat feeling either: A) Dry as a desert or B) So swollen that you can barely get your food down your throat or if you're unlucky as I was on Friday: Both. Let me tell you during school weeks (back at Sixth form for me and a few of my pals, which is for the most part, still great fun) I rarely ever get a drink there, stupid I know but when you're as lazy when it comes to school work or stuff like that as me then you're often a wee bit busy to think about much else other than when the day's going to end and how the fuck do I solve this equation? When I got home, I chugged about two litres of water in as many minutes, puked a bit afterwards but at least my throat stopped bugging me for a while.
Then comes the nose part, god this is almost as annoying as the throat issues, your nose starts running at really inconvenient times, like when you're playing TF2. Not only does it look disgusting but often you rarely have tissues on yourself (well I don't, not sure if that's the case for you lot), meaning I've either got to go find one and lose my place in the scoreboard or wipe it on my shirts which I can almost guarantee will come back to haunt you later on, particularly if you're planning on going out somewhere with your mates. Then there are the sneezes, which, for a TF2 player, are almost disastrous, imagine, you have your nemesis locked in your sights and you know he can't have that much health left when "No, not now of all times! AACHOOO!" which leaves you utterly defenceless and gives your foe the chance to either get the fuck out of dodge or turn your ill arse into swiss cheese and toss away the remnants laughing.
Now here's a little info about my constitution or whatever it's called, I've rarely even been touched by any of those major illnesses or diseases, viruses etc. apparently I've got a great immune system, or something like that, I dunno I was about 12 years old when I was told I think. Now colds as you all should know, aren't like most diseases or illnesses, they are caused by different microbes every time, your immune system builds up a defence system against those microbes, then gets blindsided by another bunch of them who look nothing like the last guys but have the same effect, you just can't do anything about it. Now as I said, I've been, so far, either immune to most for the most part, the trade-off, it seems, is that I seem to get these fucking colds almost once every month. You'd think I'd be used to them by now but no, do you 'get used' to a big bastard punching you in the face every time you show up to work/school? No you don't, that's like what I'm feeling like with colds, it's made even more frustrating when no one else seems to have this issue with colds, I'm serious, went skiing in Canada (Lake Louise is a fucking beautiful place), I had at least three layers on every day and I still caught the fucking sniffles, did anyone else? No, not one of them, I'm being completely serious, not my girlfriend, not one of my mates caught cold, it was just me as it often is.
I could go on and on about why I think it's unfair and be all emo about it but I'm a big boy, I like to think I can stop when I need to. So yeah, post here if you feel sorry for my still-sniffling arse or if you just hate colds, either one works for me.
Anyways anyone who's ever had one in their lives will know that sometimes it starts with your throat feeling either: A) Dry as a desert or B) So swollen that you can barely get your food down your throat or if you're unlucky as I was on Friday: Both. Let me tell you during school weeks (back at Sixth form for me and a few of my pals, which is for the most part, still great fun) I rarely ever get a drink there, stupid I know but when you're as lazy when it comes to school work or stuff like that as me then you're often a wee bit busy to think about much else other than when the day's going to end and how the fuck do I solve this equation? When I got home, I chugged about two litres of water in as many minutes, puked a bit afterwards but at least my throat stopped bugging me for a while.
Then comes the nose part, god this is almost as annoying as the throat issues, your nose starts running at really inconvenient times, like when you're playing TF2. Not only does it look disgusting but often you rarely have tissues on yourself (well I don't, not sure if that's the case for you lot), meaning I've either got to go find one and lose my place in the scoreboard or wipe it on my shirts which I can almost guarantee will come back to haunt you later on, particularly if you're planning on going out somewhere with your mates. Then there are the sneezes, which, for a TF2 player, are almost disastrous, imagine, you have your nemesis locked in your sights and you know he can't have that much health left when "No, not now of all times! AACHOOO!" which leaves you utterly defenceless and gives your foe the chance to either get the fuck out of dodge or turn your ill arse into swiss cheese and toss away the remnants laughing.
Now here's a little info about my constitution or whatever it's called, I've rarely even been touched by any of those major illnesses or diseases, viruses etc. apparently I've got a great immune system, or something like that, I dunno I was about 12 years old when I was told I think. Now colds as you all should know, aren't like most diseases or illnesses, they are caused by different microbes every time, your immune system builds up a defence system against those microbes, then gets blindsided by another bunch of them who look nothing like the last guys but have the same effect, you just can't do anything about it. Now as I said, I've been, so far, either immune to most for the most part, the trade-off, it seems, is that I seem to get these fucking colds almost once every month. You'd think I'd be used to them by now but no, do you 'get used' to a big bastard punching you in the face every time you show up to work/school? No you don't, that's like what I'm feeling like with colds, it's made even more frustrating when no one else seems to have this issue with colds, I'm serious, went skiing in Canada (Lake Louise is a fucking beautiful place), I had at least three layers on every day and I still caught the fucking sniffles, did anyone else? No, not one of them, I'm being completely serious, not my girlfriend, not one of my mates caught cold, it was just me as it often is.
I could go on and on about why I think it's unfair and be all emo about it but I'm a big boy, I like to think I can stop when I need to. So yeah, post here if you feel sorry for my still-sniffling arse or if you just hate colds, either one works for me.