New EU language laws

[MountieXXL]

This was dropped off today by mass-mail bandwagon ^^

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troub lesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
Replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

[indivisible]

It amazes me how many years the same jokes can continue doing the rounds!
I think I lost most of mine when I left Hotmail though. If i'd thought they'd delete the account so quickly from disuse I'd have sent all the gems on to the gmail that took over. Stingy M$. How much effort would it have been to keep 2megs of data?

[MuG]

Lmao mountie n1. It does sound a little familiar even to my very poor memory, Almost RAM at this stage if you know what i mean Had me reading and taking seriously for the first few lines. Sound like something USE(United States of Europe) would consider doing. Grumble mumble lisbon treaty!
Stingy bastards are hotmail, how long is account timeout now? Whenever hotmail comes to mind I can help thinking of a terrible spelling error a mate of mine made while going to check his email a few years ago. Gladly I couldn't see what was on his screen but his face said it all. Priceless!

[Johnimus Prime]

Could be worse - could be Welsh. Ach avie blydi saesneg!

[BBloke]

Could be worse - could be Welsh. Ach avie blydi saesneg!

WTF! That makes no sense whatsoever.. no wonder sheep always look bemused!

[Flynnstone]

No bloke your confusing confusion with fear.....

[LazyEagle]

Jebus, I think that was one of the first email"jokes" I received back in the 90s!

http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~choh/german.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Note Copyright 1998!

I know it's frowned upon, but I can't resist:

!!!!OLD!!!!

[indivisible]

Jebus, I think that was one of the first email"jokes" I received back in the 90s!

http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~choh/german.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Note Copyright 1998!

I know it's frowned upon, but I can't resist:

!!!!OLD!!!!

I think we'll let that one slide as it's more applicable here than ever before