60 Ways to get kicked out of Walmart
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals.
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,...'and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that's on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.
5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a 'Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off'.
6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
8. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out.
10. Set up a tent in the camping department.
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
15. Ride a bike through the store.
16. Play dodgeball with other customers but don't tell them they're playing.
17. See what you can 'catch' by casting fishing poles into different isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field.
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get.
24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up.
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or death opera and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
29. Find party confetti poppers and when someone comes near you pop them then shout SURPRISE!
30. Walk up to random strangers and say 'I haven't seen you in so long!' etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don't tell them that they're playing.
33. Test brushes and combs.
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
42. Randomly squish oranges and start yelling YES YES OH YES!
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
45. Mix up the fruits and yell FRUIT SALAD!
46. Mix up the clothing sections
47. Alphabetize the bargain bins
48. 'Re-alphabetize' the CD's
49. 'Re-alphabetize' the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Running around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let's go to target!
52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
54. Ask some if they can butter your squirrel.
55. Act like a jungle animal in the gardening section.
56. Ask if you can buy some air.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about unicorns.
59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!'
60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming 'Oo-oo-aaa-aa!' And attack whoever buys bananas.
*EPIC*
